Best and Funny Collection of Movie Jokes

{SCA} A form of entertainment that enacts a story by sound and a sequence of images giving the illusion of continuous movement; “they went to a movie every Saturday night”; “the film was shot on location”

This post is dedicated to funny movie jokes.

These new and best collection of movie jokes text messages are in English languages.You can share these nice collection of movie Jokes to your friends and colleagues.

We are quite sure that you will love this post, So let’s get started and don’t forget to subscribe to our Newsletter to keep track on our next post in this series.

1. Actual Chinese Movie Subtitles

1. Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

2. Gun wounds again?

3. Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

4. A normal person wouldn’t steal pituitaries.

5. The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

6. Take my advice, or I’ll spank you without pants.

7. Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?

8. I’ll fire aimlessly if you don’t come out!

9. You always use violence. I should’ve ordered glutinous rice chicken.

10.Beat him out of recognizable shape!

11. I got knife scars more than the number of your leg’s hair!

12. Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

13. How can you use my intestines as a gift?

2. Things You Wouldn’t Know Without Movies

It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.

-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.

-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

3. The things you learn at the movies

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

Most dogs are immortal.

If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick’s Day parade – at any time of the year.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off – even while scuba diving.

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition -even if you haven’t been carrying any before now.

You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. Even a bad German accent will do.

If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.