Comedy and Hilarious Collection of Redneck Jokes

{SCA} This post is dedicated to funny short redneck jokes.

These new and best collection of short redneck jokes text messages are in English.

We are quite sure that you will love this post, So let’s get started and don’t forget to subscribe to our Newsletter to keep track on our next post in this series.

1. You Might Be A Redneck If

You trim your beard and find a French fry.

You use a piece of bread as a napkin.

You wear overalls to save on the cost of shirts and underwear.

Your birth announcements included the words “rug rat”.

Your car alarm eats dog food.

Your car burns more oil than gas.

Your flashlight holds more than four batteries.

Your horse can count higher than you.

2. It Might be The Light.

Deep In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly’s wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, “Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am
doing.” Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

Whoa there, said the doctor, “Don’t be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there’s another one coming.” Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. “Hold that lantern up, don’t set it down there’s another one!” said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.

“No, don’t be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there’s yet another one coming!” cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, “You reckon it might be the light that’s attractin’ ’em?

3. You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If

Sandpeople back down from your mama.

You’ve ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.

You’ve ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent.

You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok… without using the word “chicken”.

You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.

A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.

4. You might be a “high tech redneck” if.

You might be a “high tech redneck” if….

– your email address ends in “”

– you connect to the WWW via “Down Home Page”

– your bumper sticker says “My other computer is a laptop”

– your laptop has a sticker that says “Protected by Smith & Wesson”

– you’ve ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cell phone

– your baseball cap reads “DEC” instead of “CAT”

– your computer is worth more than all your cars combined

– your wife said “either I go or the computer goes”…and you still don’t miss her

– you’ve ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster for your beer

– you refer to your computer as “that good ol’ gal”

– your screen saver is an image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal

– you start all your emails with “Howdy, y’all”

– your spell-checker knows words like “Reckon”, “Yonder”, and “Y’all”

– your cars sit in the yard because your garage is full of dead CPU’s

– your belt buckle is made from a dead 3.5″ hard drive

– your computer beep is (insert farm animal sound here)

– your active newsgroup list includes alt.animal.husbandry

– hay has been found inside your laptop carrying case

– you have caught yourself coaxing a slow speed machine with cluck sounds, kiss sounds or giddyup

– your netscape bookmark list includes EquiVet, net-vet or the OSU agriculture page