Computer Jokes Funny and Hilarious Collection 2010

{SCA} A computer is a programmable machine that receives input, stores and manipulates data, and provides output in a useful format.

This post is dedicated to funny computer jokes.

These new and best collection of computer jokes text messages are in English, Hindi and Urdu languages.

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1. Online Banking

TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you?

CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking?

TECH: We’re an Internet service provider, ma’am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking.

CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that?

TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank.

CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out?

TECH: I’m not sure I understand?

CUSTOMER: You know…Does the money come out from that slot on the computer?

2. Software Engineering

At a recent computer software engineering course, the participants were given an awkward question to answer:

“If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?”

Among the ensuing forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay aboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.

3. The Four Engineers

One day, a Mechanical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, Chemical Engineer and Computer Engineer were driving down the street in the same car.

The car broke down.

The Mechanical Engineer said, “I think a rod broke.”

The Chemical Engineer said, “The way it sputtered at the end, I don’t think it’s getting gas.”

The Electrical Engineer said, “I think there was a spark and something is wrong with the electrical system.”

All three turned to the computer engineer and said, “What do you think?”

The Computer Engineer said, “I think we should all get out and get back in.

4. A 21st Century Marriage

I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife. As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses.

“I’m sorry,” the clerk said. “This man just ordered our last bunch.” The desperate customer turned to me and begged, “May I please have those roses?”

“What happened?” I asked. “Did you forget your wedding anniversary?”

“It’s even worse than that,” he confided. “I crashed my wife’s hard drive!

5. Passwords

This consultant is working on a Web development project for a client, and he’s also got a nontechnical intern to keep busy. Fortunately, that’s a solution, not a problem.

“Part of the project included setting up about 150 user accounts for the client’s customers to log in to a secure portion of the site and download their reports,” says the consultant.

“Setting up 150 user accounts seemed like a simple enough job, would keep our intern busy and took a task off my plate. I gave him a list of usernames and showed him how to set up accounts on the server.”

In fact, he gives the intern some further guidance. From past experience, he knows that passwords consisting of random letters and numbers make security gurus happy but drive users crazy — either users can’t remember the gibberish passwords or they constantly mistype them.

He explains all this to the intern and instructs him to create passwords that consist of a word from the dictionary, followed by two or three digits.

Next day, the consultant checks with intern to make sure the job is complete. The intern shows him the list of passwords. And sure enough, he’s done exactly what the consultant suggested — with one extra twist.

“Rather than creating passwords like ‘book345’ or ‘house57,’ he instead found a list of the 200 most commonly misspelled words to generate the passwords,” the consultant groans.

“Being under a tight deadline, there was no time to create new passwords and test them. So we launched the Web site and gave the users their passwords. As expected, we fielded numerous support calls from users trying to enter passwords such as ‘accommodate85’ and ‘asphyxiate33.’ “