{SCA} Death is the termination of the biological functions that define a living organism. It will eventually afflict all living things. Death refers both to a particular event and to the condition that results thereby.
This post is dedicated to funny death jokes.
These new and best collection of death jokes text messages are in English, Hindi and Urdu languages.We are quite sure that you will love this post, So let’s get started and don’t forget to subscribe to our Newsletter to keep track on our next post in this series.
1. The Dying Preacher
An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his Lawyer (both church members), to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and Lawyer were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment
They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them
Finally, the Lawyer asked, “Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?
The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, “Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go, too.
2. Zero to 200
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
“Look!” she said. “I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me.”
So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Services will be at Downing Funeral Home on Monday the 12th. Due to the condition of the body, this will be a closed casket service. Please send your donations to the “Think Before You Say Things To Your Wife Foundation,” Dallas, Texas.sletter to keep track on our next post in this series.
3. Before You Meet With God
A man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and said, “Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you — we’ve looked at your life, and your really didn’t do anything particularly good or bad. We’re not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?”
The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, “Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of bikers. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the woman or they would have to deal with me!”
“I’m impressed,” St. Peter responded, “When did this happen?”
“About two minutes ago,” came the reply.
4. Death on Vacation
During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalam, George’s mother-in-law died.
With death certificates in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the states for proper burial.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the
mother-in-law told George that the sending of a body back to the states for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000.00.
The Consul continues, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.00.
George thinks for some time and answers, “I don’t care how much it will cost to send the body back; that’s what I want to do.”
The Consul, after hearing this, says, “You must have loved your mother-in-law very much consdering the difference in price.”
“No, it’s not that,” says George. “You see, I know of a case years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he arose from the dead !
I just can’t take that chance.