{SCA} This post is dedicated to funny outdoor jokes. These latest funny and humorous collection of outdoor jokes text messages are in English.
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1. Camping Tips
Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.
The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.
When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.
Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.
In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.
2. The Score
When I was visiting a friend who lived on the edge of a wilderness preserve, we drove along a rutted trail, and we saw a small creek ahead whose bridge was under water.
“We have a serious beaver problem,” our friend said. “They build dams that cause the creek to flood. Forest rangers take down the dams, and the beavers rebuild them.”
As we got closer, we could see a large scoreboard posted by the bridge.
It read: BEAVERS 3 RANGERS 0
3. Over Quota
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message.
“Due to lack of maintenance,” he read, “we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account.