Funny Jokes About Ads Outstanding Selection

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In this post, we have compiled a list best and funny Jokes on ads that are very humorous and decent. You can share these nice collection of ads Jokes to your friends and colleagues.

1. In Order Of Stupidity

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer — Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos — You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap — “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (and that would be how???…..)

On some Swanson frozen dinners — “Serving suggestion: Defrost.” (but, it’s “just” a suggestion).

On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) — “Do not turn upside down.” (well…duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding – “Product will be hot after heating.” (…and you thought????….)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron — “Do not iron clothes on body.” (but wouldn’t this save me more time)?

On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine — “Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid — “Warning: May cause drowsiness…” (and…I’m taking this because???….)

On most brands of Christmas lights — “For indoor or outdoor use only.” (as opposed to…what)?

On a Japanese food processor — “Not to be used for the other use.” (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury’s peanuts — “Warning: contains nuts.” (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts — “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: maybe, uh…fly Delta?)

On a child’s Superman costume — “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” (I don’t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw — “Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.” (Oh my God…was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

2. Actual Headlines

Actual headlines collected from local, national, and international newspapers that are rather ambiguous. It is clear what the writer was trying to say, but in each case there is a funnier interpretation of the headline. Enjoy!

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon

Milk Drinkers are Turning to Powder

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Panda Mating Fails; Veterninarian Takes Over

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Lawmen From Mexico Barbeque Guests

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Hershey Bars Protest

3. Funny Newspaper Bloopers

Here are a few genuine news bloopers gleaned from American newspapers. These were taken from an article by Richard Lederer, author of “Anguished English”.

On behalf of Barbara Rutledge and her family, our sincere thanks go out to those sending flowers, cards and contributing to the death of her husband.

The airplane was only a few feet from the ground when it crashed, witnesses said.

With the exception of victimless crimes (which need not concern us here), every single crime committed in this nation of ours involves a victim.

A purple lady’s bicycle was missing from Serendipity Lane recently.

Chairman Billings asked Board members to muster support from parent-teacher groups to support the governor’s task force on driving while intoxicated.

He hasn’t even had his day in court yet, but Simon Wynne has been kicked off the ESU basketball team after being arrested and accused of driving a parked car while intoxicated.

Montreal police don’t hesitate to use whatever laws, regulations or persuasion they feel they need to control morality in the city and prevent it from getting a foothold.

A college friendship that began a year ago ended in matrimony yesterday.