{SCA} Money is anything that is generally accepted as payment for goods and services and repayment of debts.
The main functions of money are distinguished as: a medium of exchange, a unit of account, a store of value, and occasionally, a standard of deferred payment.T.H. Greco.
This post is dedicated to funny money jokes.
These new and best collection of money jokes text messages are in English languages.You can share these nice collection of money Jokes to your friends and colleagues.
We are quite sure that you will love this post, So let’s get started and don’t forget to subscribe to our Newsletter to keep track on our next post in this series.
1. Blonde Millionaire
A blonde named Barbara appeared on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire…
Regis: “Barbara, you’ve done very well so far – $500,000 and one lifeline left. The next question will give you the million dollars if you get it right … but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 — are you ready?”
Barbara: “Sure I’ll have a go.”
Regis: “Which of the following birds does not build it’s own nest? Is it…
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
“Remember, Barbara, it’s worth 1 million dollars.”
Barbara: “It’s a cuckoo.”
Regis: “You’re sure? You can walk with the $500,000 or play on for the million.”
Barbara: “I want to play, I’ll go with C – Cuckoo.”
Regis: “Is that your final answer?”
Barbara: “It is.”
Regis: “Are you confident?”
Barbara: “Absolutely!”
Regis: “Barbara…..you had $500,000 and you said C -Cuckoo. Well….you’re right! – You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS Here is
your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara.”
That night Barbara calls her friend Carol and they go to a local bar for a celebration drink. As they are sipping their champagne. Carol turns to Barbara and asks, “Tell me, how did you know that it was the cuckoo that does not build its own nest?”
“It was so simple,” Barbara replied, “Everybody knows that cuckoos live
in clocks.
2. Wise Uncle Rusty
Uncle Rusty is a wise man. A while back he retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few
weeks of his retirement in peace and quiet, puttering around his work shop.
That is of course until the school year began. On the first day of school three young boys, full of pent up energy from a full day of school, came down his street. As they walked down the street they beat rhythmically on every trash can they past. Day after day, it was the same thing. Beating, clanging and pounding out a rhythm
on the cans as they walked down the street. Poor Uncle Rusty just couldn’t take it any more.
The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young musicians. As they worked their way down the street, pounding out a tune on
the cans, Rusty stopped them and said, “You kids sure are having a lot of fun. I like seeing young people like you, express
themselves. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I’ll give you each a dollar if
you’ll promise to come around every day and do your thing.” The kids were elated and continued to do a bang up job on the trash
cans.
After two days, Uncle Rusty greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad expression on his face. “This recession’s really
putting a big dent in my income,” he told them. “From now on, I’ll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans.”
The boys were not pleased, but they did accept his offer and continued their afternoon concert. A couple of days later, Sly Uncle Rusty approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.
With words that would ensure he would have peace and quiet from that day forward he said “Look, my Social Security check just
isn’t stretching as far with the expenses. So I’m not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents a day. Will that be okay?”
“What?! Just a crummy quarter?” the boys exclaimed. “If you think we’re going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you’re nuts! No way, mister. We quit!”