{SCA} Old age consists of ages nearing or surpassing the average life span of human beings, and thus the end of the human life cycle.
Euphemisms and terms for old people include seniors (American usage), senior citizens (British and American usage) and the elderly.
This post is dedicated to funny old people jokes.
These new and best collection of old people jokes text messages are in English languages.You can share these nice collection of old people Jokes to your friends and colleagues.
We are quite sure that you will love this post, So let’s get started and don’t forget to subscribe to our Newsletter to keep track on our next post in this series.
1. How Do You Feel?
Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ”How do you really feel? I mean, you’re 75 years old, how do you honestly feel?”
”Honestly, I feel like a new born baby. I’ve got no hair, no teeth, and I just peed myself.
2. Three little old ladies
Three little old ladies are sitting in a restaurant one day, talking about this and that. The first lady said, “You know, I’m really getting forgetful. This morning I was
standing at the bottom of the stairs and I couldn’t remember if I was just about to go up or if I had just come down.”
“Oh, that’s nothing,” the second lady said. “The other day I was sitting on the edge of my bed, wondering if I was going to bed or if I had just gotten up.”
The third lady smiled pleasantly at the other two. “Well, my memory is just as good as ever, knock on wood.”
She rapped on the table with her knuckles, then gave a start and said, “Who’s there?”
3. Child’s Perspective on Retirement
A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following:
“We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick house, but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Florida and now they live in a place with a lot of other retarded people.
“They live in a tin box and have rocks painted green to look like grass. They ride around on big tricycles and wear nametags because they don’t know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wrecked center, but they must have got it fixed, because it is all right now.
They play games and do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well. There is a swimming pool, too, but they all jump up and down in it with their hats on. I guess they don’t know how to swim.
At their gate, there is a dollhouse with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out. Then they go cruising in their golf carts.
My Grandma used to bake cookies and stuff, but I guess she forgot how. Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And they eat the same thing every night: Early Birds. Some of the people can’t get past the man in the dollhouse to go out. So the ones who do get out bring food back to the wrecked center and call it potluck.
My Grandma says Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded some day, too. When I earn my retardment I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out so they can visit their grandchildren.”