{SCA} This post is dedicated to funny irish jokes.
These new and best collection of irish joke text messages are in English languages.
We are quite sure that you will love this post, So let’s get started and don’t forget to subscribe to our Newsletter to keep track on our next post in this series.
1. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
Q: Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun?
A: Because they’re always a little short.
2. Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman in a Pub
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, “SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT!!!!
3. The British and the Irish Collide
This is the transcript of the ACTUAL radio conversation between the
British and the Irish, off the coast of Kerry, Oct 98. Radio conversation
released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-98:
IRISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South, to avoid a
collision.
BRITISH: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North, to
avoid a collision.
IRISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to
the South to avoid a collision.
BRITISH: This is the Captain of a British navy ship. I say again,
divert YOUR course.
IRISH: Negative. I say again, You will have to divert YOUR course.
BRITISH: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER HMS BRITIANNIA! THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE BRITISH ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS, AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, I SAY AGAIN, THAT IS 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
IRISH: We are a lighthouse. Your call.
4. An Irishman, Englishman and a German
An Irishman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. “Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported.
Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?” said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him.
The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport.
Next came the German. “Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?” said the prison guard
“Nothing” said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport.
The guards then came to the Irishman. “Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on you back, what would you like?”
“Oh”, replied the Irishman, “I’ll take the German”.