Domestic Violence in Relationship: Control Emotions and Save Your Marriage

Some women today are living in fear because they are domestic violence in relationship. Women who are living with domestic violence in relationship often are to scared to leave due to the threats her partner may have told her. Some men will show signs of being violence before the relationship even starts. Signs that the woman doesn’t even realize. Some women blame themselves for this violence they receive from their partner. This violence may be physical or verbal and the woman will most likely be intimidated and or dominated.

Although the majority of domestic violence survivors are women, men often find themselves in domestic violence in relationships as well. Sadly, men are less likely to step forward and get help during and after the relationship; the shame of having allowed oneself to be violence by a woman (or another man) is just too great in our culture.

It can be very hard to admit when you are a victim in a domestic violence in relationship, but now that you’ve gotten that far, you need to know how to get out. Whether you need to escape a marriage or a dating relationship with an violence boyfriend or girlfriend, your safety is of the utmost importance.

What Is Domestic Violence?

Violence can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Physical violence means any form of violence such as hitting, punching, pulling hair, and kicking. Violence can occur in both dating relationships and friendships.

Emotional violence (stuff like teasing, bullying, and humiliating others) can be difficult to recognize because it doesn’t leave any visible scars. Threats, intimidation, put downs, and betrayal are all harmful forms of emotional violence that can really hurt not just during the time it’s happening, but long after too.

Key Signs of Voilence in Relationship:

While everyone’s experience of an unhealthy or violence relationship will be different, there are some common patterns of controlling behavior and violence, which can happen before the relationship becomes physically violent. These include:


  • Checking on you all the time to see where you are, what you’re doing and who you’re with.
  • Trying to control where you can go and who they can see.


  • Accusing you without good reason of being unfaithful or flirting.
  • Isolating you from family and friends, often by rude behavior.

Put downs:

  • Putting you down, either publicly or privately by attacking how smart you are, your looks or capabilities.
  • Constantly comparing you unfavorably with others.
  • Blaming you for all the problems in the relationship.

Menace + Threats:

  • Yelling, sulking and deliberately breaking things that you value.
  • Threatening to use violence against you, your family, friends or even a pet.
  • Saying things like ‘no one else will want you’.

What to do If You are Being Violence:

  • It’s not ok to be physically threatened or scared into things that make you uncomfortable or unhappy just because you are in a relationship.
  • It’s not ok to be put down and pushed around – shoved, hit, slapped, kicked, or punched. No one deserves to be treated this way. No one should use violence or the threat of violence – to make you do what you don’t want to do.
  • It’s not ok for someone to use the excuse that they are tired, stressed, over worked or under financial pressure as a reason for their violent behavior.

If you are living with your boyfriend or girlfriend and are feeling unsafe, find other accommodation with friends, family or, if that’s not possible, an emergency accommodation service.

Stay Away:

Because it can be hard to put your emotions aside, it may be difficult to stay away from the person who hurt you. Chances are, you still love your partner. You may have been together for months or years, but you likely wouldn’t have stayed if you weren’t emotionally invested in the relationship.

You probably believe that your partner loves you, too, despite the violence inflicted upon you. The important thing to remember is that love is not supposed to hurt. Your safety and well-being was not respected. You deserve someone who loves you and respects you enough not to hurt you.

How You Can Help Yourself:

What should you do if you think someone might be violence you? If you feel that you love someone but often feel afraid, it’s time to get out of the relationship fast. You’re worth being treated with respect and you can get help.

First, make sure you’re safe. A trusted adult or friend can help. If the person has physically attacked you, don’t wait to get medical attention or to call the police.

Breaking the Cycle of Violence:

Breaking up any kind of relationship is hard to do, but it can be particularly hard to leave a violent relationship. When you are frightened and your self-esteem is low, it can be hard to find the strength to leave or break-up. It’s sometimes easier to hope that things will change for the better. Too often they don’t.

But the first step in changing things is to understand what’s been happening is wrong. Even if they say they care about you and you care about them, it’s not OK to be treated like this.