Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problems. The condition is most often described as being an inability to delay ejaculation to a point when it is mutually desirable for both partners. The definition of when ejaculation is premature is subjective. While some men have trouble controlling their orgasm upon entry, others consider 5-10 minutes of copulation too little time. How long a man is able to last is not the important factor in diagnosing premature ejaculation. The crucial issue is if a man is satisfied with the length of coitus.
What Causes Premature Ejaculation?
Most men have experienced this problem at some time in their life. Premature ejaculation was once thought to be caused by drugs or certain infections such as urethritis, but popular wisdom suggests it is more psychological in nature. The exact cause of the condition, however, still remains a mystery.
Premature ejaculation often occurs during the first experiences with sex, and in this case is most commonly attributed to anxiety. The majority of men gradually learn to control their orgasm, and have no lasting effect. Some men will develop a longer-term anxiety toward sex, which can cause a prolonged experience with premature ejaculation.
Sexual behavior is also a factor. The longer the period since last ejaculating, the quicker young men typically reach orgasm. Younger men tend to ejaculate more quickly than older men, as experience seems to be associated with ejaculatory control.
What Can I Do To Delay Ejaculation?
Desensitizing Creams
Desensitizing creams are products that can lessen the sensations felt by men during intercourse so that they can last longer.
Masters And Johnson Method
The best way to fighting premature ejaculation is learning how to identify and control the sensations leading up to orgasm. The Masters and Johnson method does just that. The Masters and Johnson method requires a great deal of patience and practice, but is very effective. Follow the steps below.
You may want to start with masturbation. Begin by bringing yourself to a point relatively close to climax, and stop, allowing yourself to relax before starting again. Each time you do this, bring yourself closer and closer to orgasm until you cannot control it any longer. You may want to practice with the aid of a lubricant. We recommend trying Astroglide. Repeating this procedure a number of times on different occasions will help you learn where your point of climax is. Once you have an idea about your “point of no return” you should be able to direct stimulation from your partner leading up to orgasm.
The best way to practice this method is with a caring lover, although you can try to prepare by yourself. With your partner, engage in non-coital stimulation (like masturbation or oral sex) and gradually allow yourself to reach that point just before ejaculation. At that point, signal your partner to stop (often this is done with a light squeeze or sound) and allow yourself to partially lose your erection. Repeat these steps several times to get the hang of it. You should practice these steps for several days before you attempt intercourse.
Once you are ready to try intercourse, lay on your back and direct your partner to slowly allow you to penetrate. As soon as you feel that you are about to climax, signal to your partner or give a gentle push upward. Relax for a bit, then begin again. You should soon be able to control your ejaculation and enjoy having sex.
Although the method is extremely effective, it could take weeks before you get it just right. Remember, be patient and try not to put too much pressure on the situation. If you don’t get it the first time, shrug it off and remember that you are working towards something that takes time. If you still have trouble, don’t hesitate to contact a sex therapist for guidance.
Squeeze Technique
The squeeze technique is really just a variation of the Masters and Johnson method, except that the assisting partner squeezes the tip or base of the penis just before the point of climax to essentially cancel the orgasm. The “squeeze” forces blood out of the penis and reduces the erection. You may want to use the squeeze technique if the Masters and Johnson method alone is not working.
Other Techniques
Masturbation is a technique used by many young men to increase their level of control. It is thought that masturbation before sexual activity will lessen the amount of desire a man feels thereby increasing control. This technique is not very effective, however, as level of arousal is only part of what contributes to the condition.
Condoms are an effective means of reducing the amount of stimulation experienced during sex. Some men find that a condom helps them prevent premature ejaculation by lowering their arousal. If one condom does not decrease the stimulation enough, then put on one more. Condoms provide excellent protection against STDs and pregnancy, so they’re certainly worth a try.
Sexual positions can affect a man’s ability to control his ejaculation. The typical “missionary” position (on top of your partner) is not the best position while attempting to control ejaculation. Try laying on your back, allowing the partner to control copulation. In this position you are more relaxed, and can guide your partner easily.
Treatment For Premature Ejaculation At Home
The great news is that you can control your ejaculation with a fairly straightforward and easy system of treatment at home. Treating sexual problems is much more simple than many people think, especially if the problem is not rooted in deep-seated emotional or sexual trauma. (If it is, you may need the help of a professional psychotherapist and sexual therapist.)
I’d also like to emphasize that it isn’t really that hard to treat premature ejaculation. You can practice the exercises – including a technique known as Sensate Focus – at home with your partner between two and three times a week. This will represent a total investment of about one and a half hours a week, which you’ll need to maintain for about four months or so until your sexual stamina allows you to last much longer during sex.
- This treatment for premature ejaculation will not require any painful squeezing of the penis before you ejaculate.
- It’s not a treatment that requires abstinence from sex.
- The treatment is easy and pleasant and will actually bring you and your partner closer both during sex and afterwards in your relationship generally.
- You can increase and enhance your communication skills by using this treatment.
- Treatment can be done when you wish at any time during the week.
- Sex becomes more intimate, closer and more relaxing.
- The treatment will also reduce any anxiety you may have around sex.
- The treatment will begin to produce an improvement in your staying power almost immediately when you start the exercises.
- After three months of treatment, you should be able to last for twenty minutes with small pauses during sex to allow your arousal levels to drop.
- There is no squeezing of the pubococcygeal muscles during sex, which is not an effective treatment for premature ejaculation anyway.
- Lastly, you will not be required to use any kind of anesthetic preparation during sex, so you will not have a numb penis, and your partner will not have a numb vagina!
In essence the treatment method that we are describing here is a system of training, during which you learn how to recognize when you are going to approach the point of ejaculation, and then you learn what you can do to stop yourself getting more aroused – in other words, you gain control over your ejaculation, and you will gain the ability to prevent your ejaculation occurring until you wish to let go and come, shooting your ejaculate with force and a powerful orgasm. That may well be after your female partner has enjoyed her own orgasm.
In case the significance of this is not clear I should repeat it: you have the ability to control when you ejaculate – you have the ability to decide and choose when you ejaculate. In fact, that is the natural way to make love, the correct way to last longer during sex, and that is the effect of this treatment. You will be able to choose when to ejaculate during sex.