{SCA} The cat, also known as the domestic cat or housecat to distinguish it from other felines and felids, is a small domesticated carnivorous mammal that is valued by humans for its companionship and its ability to hunt vermin and household pests.

In this post, we have compiled a list Funny cat joke that are very humorous and cute.

You can share these nice collection of cat Jokes text messages to your friends and colleagues.

1. Going Out

A couple was going out for the evening. The last thing they did was to put the cat out.

The taxi arrived, and as the couple walked out of the house, the cat shoots back in. So the husband goes back inside to chase it out.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house would be empty, explained to the taxi driver “He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”

A few minutes later, the husband got into the taxi and said, “Sorry I took so long, the stupid thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!

2. A Great Way To Clean Your Toilet

Great Directions here for a real clean toilet!!! easy too!!!!

1. Lift both lids on your toilet bowl and add a couple of capfuls of shampoo to the water.

2. Go to the other room where the cat is sleeping, pick it up and soothe it while you carry it towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (You may need to stand on the lid, afterwards). The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
(Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.)

4. Flush the toilet three or four times.
(This provides a “power-wash” and “rinse”)

5. Have someone open the closest door to the outside (Be sure that no one is between the toilet and the outside door.)

6. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

7. The cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where it will dry itself. After this procedure, both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean!

3. Cat and Mouse

There was a cat and a mouse who went to heaven, and they were there at the same time. Well, the mouse approaches God’s throne, and God asks him, “So, how do you like it up here?”

The mouse says, “It’s nice, but could I get a pair of roller skates?”

God says, “Sure.”

So, the mouse gets his roller skates.

Well, the next day, the cat approaches God’s throne, and the same question is directed at him. So, he answers, “It’s great! I didn’t know you had meals on wheels up here!

4. Bathing the Cat

Following are instructions on the best way to bathe your cat:

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Don’t get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out to grab anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides a “powerwash and rinse” which I have found to be quite effective.

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.

5. How to Train a Cat

Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. “Don’t worry,” my husband reassured me. “I’ll have him trained in no time.”

I watched for several days as my husband patiently “trained” our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson.

The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.

6. Why Do Cats Hate Flying Saucers?

Q. Why do cats hate flying saucers?

A. Because they can’t reach the milk.