Imagine this situation you are eating out with your partner when a young, smart and beautiful lady passes by. Your partner casually remarks on how great she looks. You find yourself getting angry and a spat ensues. The culprit is not you or your partner. It is that innate feeling of jealousy.
Everyone has experienced jealousy in a relationship at one time or another. Regardless of your partner’s response, you’ll probably feel something if a co-worker shows a little too much attention or an old flame calls out of the blue. When you feel a little bit of jealousy, it can remind you how strongly you feel about your mate, that other people still find her attractive or that you’re lucky to have him.
Often times the little green monster that is jealousy can rear its head when you least expect. The littlest things can set you into a long deep spiral of becoming jealous over your significant other. A little bit of jealousy when you are in a relationship is normal and shows that you care about the other person. Letting jealousy run through every aspect and interaction in your relationship is not healthy.
Even if there is nothing going on, you jealousy could end up pushing away your significant other. They will feel like you do not trust them. There is a way to deal with jealousy in a relationship. It takes some determination and work on your part, but you can get past your feelings of jealousy.
When you are jealous, you should not hide it. Be open to your partner about your feelings. Explain what the situation is about and find a solution together. To communicate with your partner is essential within a relationship. You have to know what goes on in his or her head and this goes both ways. Only this way you can work together on an exaggerated form of jealousy.
Give your partner the feeling that you trust him or her. It will have an opposite effect if your partner gets the idea that you suspect him or her of adultery. Suspicion will never work positively. You should believe that your partner cares as much about you as you care about him or her. If you are really convinced, that your suspicions are true, you need to talk.
Don’t jump up if your partner kisses somebody on the cheek or gives someone a compliment. A relationship should not be based on the possession of each other, but on freedom and trust. Allow your partner to have social contact with others. Don’t be alarmed by little things. And ask same of your partner.
Keep in mind that a light form of jealousy is positive. Your jealousy should not take on huge shapes so it will not become disturbing. Light jealousy promotes attachment. Your jealousy should always remain an image of your love. So, as long as your jealousy doesn’t really stand in your way, it is an honorable feeling.
Get all of the information on the actions in your relationship that is causing you to become jealous. Many times your jealousy in your relationship can lead to false accusations. This will drive your significant other away from your relationship. To truly know if your jealousy is warranted, you need to do some research and look into why the actions that your partner took were made.
Keep the lines of communication open with your significant other. Communication is important in all relationships. When you are jealous of your partner, being able to open up and discuss it will help to settle your feelings. With an open line of communication, your significant other can tell you why he did what he did.
If you are dealing with jealousy or with a jealous partner, then ruling out the first reason is key. Ask yourself, as objectively as possible, is there any solid foundation for the jealousy? Is one partner spending too much attention on someone outside of the relationship? Are they spending time on the phone with someone they know is interested in them, even if that person is just a friend? If one partner is acting in a way that disrespects the relationship, even if they’re not cheating, then that needs to be addressed.
The two of you have to come to an agreement on what is and is not appropriate within the relationship. With mutual trust, a couple should be able to find a comfortable medium. For instance, if a woman at work keeps hitting on your boyfriend despite knowing he’s taken, then you can request that he ask her to stop.
Although some jealousy can be normal, it is important not to ignore excessive or irrational jealousy in a relationship. Some causes of jealousy, such as past infidelity or insecurity, can be worked through as a couple. But if the jealousy cannot be cured and it is damaging to you, then it’s best to end the relationship. Since extreme jealousy can easily lead to abuse, the most important thing is putting yourself first and nurturing relationships in which you are trusted and loved.
Advice:
If you find yourself experiencing the negative impact of jealousy or find that you response to jealousy is in a very aggressive manner, you should seek professional assistance.